Saturday, May 23, 2015

Did You Lose Someone Special By Mistreating Them?

How could I have been so stupid?
Did you lose someone special because you mistreated her or took her for granted? Now all you are left with are regrets. Maybe you tried to apologize. We often believe that an apology will fix whatever the misdeed; however, for many people forgiving is not easy and forgetting the transgression is totally out of the question. The damage has already be done; you simply cannot fix a beautiful broken vase, you can try but it will never look the same or be the same; nor will a broken heart.

I believe one of the most tragic things in life is not being kind to someone who loves and cares for you and not guarding the heart of someone that has given their heart to you. I don't mean that you 'must' love them back; but at least have some measure of love or warm affection for them and always be truthful in your dealing with individuals.

Let's say for instance you dated this guy or girl and she was a fantastic individual. You could not have asked for a better partner if you could have placed an order for the ideal mate; however, but you still was not all that into the person. Maybe you wanted for things to work knowing that she was a great catch. In the end you did the opposite of what you wanted to do, you mistreated her driving her away. Afterwards you felt only regrets for your actions. Were you "nuts" or something? I will not go as far as saying you were nuts but obviously at the time the chemistry was not there and the relationship did not work. The sad part is the individual that you were 'not' into probably thought the world of you and did all she could to prove it. I know...I was once that person. I use to think that if I was kind enough, sweet enough, attentive enough, looked great enough and generally kept myself together I would be able to sway the mind and heart of the individual I wanted most. Well, let me tell you folks it simply does not work that way. Unfortunately, I ended up holding onto thin air and hope for a long time.

I was on the opposite end of the spectrum as the one being turned away.  I am guessing since you are reading this article that you are the one who turned away someone or mistreated someone that you now realize was very special and you now dearly regret letting that person go? Today, you are no doubt older and wiser and as you look back you can now see how foolish you were for turning your back on the one person who truly cared, trusted you and tried to show it in every way possible. Ask yourself; "was that the one person that was sent from Heaven just for you?" It is indeed a rude and cruel awakening to realize that your chance for true happiness could now be gone forever. I believe we all come across the "ideal person" that was meant for only us; unfortunately, many times we are not able to see what's staring us in the face...until it's too late or until we believe its to late.

What if...just what if it was not to late to regain what you thought was lost and gone forever. If there was a slim chance of you regaining the love of the person that was there for you; would you make an effort to reunite with that individual or would you be too afraid to try?

I read this post called 5 Ways To Destroy The Illusion Of Fear...written by - I thought this paragraph was fitting to place here. If you are to afraid to pursue a lost love or afraid to re-establish a loving relationship with someone you should have treated better perhaps this short paragraph will awaken you. Show no fear.

" If you ever speak to those that are somewhat older and wiser, they will tell you that, in life, we usually regret the things we did not do, rather than the things we did. If you spend your life procrastinating, you will never know the outcome. And remember, no result is a negative one. It’s what you make of your experiences, every moment, every encounter shapes you, bringing you to the point in your life, you’re at now."

The objective here is to let you know that things can and offer do workout for the better if you move forward without fear and with determination. After all you will never know the outcome if you fail to act. If that person is still single you have a chance to rekindle the relationship. I would go as far to say just because a person is in a relationship does not necessarily mean that they are happy. The individual might be looking for a way out of the relationship. My point is not for you to attempt to break up someone happy relationship plus if the individual is truly happy you won't stand a chance anyway; but what 'if' the person is not happy; your chances  have just gotten better at a full reunion. Will it be easy, probably not, could it prove to be well worth the effort...absolutely.

In my case, the object of my affection did return and I was receptive (after a period of time, it did take some work). The only enemy that stands between you and total happiness is fear. "Go Conquer Your Fears!"


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Saturday, March 7, 2015

How Long Do Rebounds Last?

How long do rebounds last? Is this not the question of the Century? It would be great if we could look into a crystal ball and predict when a rebound relationship was going to end; however, we cannot. The good news is that they usually end rather quickly. A rebound relationship is nothing more than a quick fix to end the heartache of a break-up. It's a fling and usually nothing more. We as humans hate to be in pain of any kind and pain of heart is one of the worse pains that exist. So when we break-up with someone or someone breaks up with us we tend to want to feel better as soon as possible; especially if we are still carrying a torch for the ex.

I am guilty of running into the arms of another due to losing someone I truly loved so if you are in this situation I definitely understand. However, let me be real for a moment...I found out rather quickly that rebounds don't last very long at all. Although there is no exact time period as to the question "how long do rebounds last" however; on average these kinds of relationships end within 3-6 months. Yes, very short lived indeed. If you are waiting for a "rebound relationship" to end 3-6 months may seem like an eternity.

Are you waiting for your ex to dump the rebound and come running back to you. This could happen and chances are if you were good to your ex it will happen "but" there's is that but; what if your ex does not come running back to you? What are you going to do...stand idly by and watch your true love jump into a rebound situation (which could end up a permanent situation). The good news for you  you don't have to become a memory and allow the relationship to continue but you are going to have to act now.

People tend to enter into rebound relationships for all the wrong reasons but that does not mean that they NEVER work out. The important thing for you to remember is waiting for the relationship to end is counter productive...why not help bring it to an end. How? There are ways my friend...there are ways...hehehe. If you are suffering from a broken-heart and you did not want your relationship to end then don't just sit around and cry or be depressed about it. This goes for men and women.

Here is the first thing you should do right now to get get some peace of mind and comfort...go here --http://winningmyex-back.com and listen to the short videos; I promise you will feel a lot matter about your situation and you can also learn some important steps you need to take to get your love life back on track. Time is short and true love is not to be found around every street corner. So take this opportunity and get your ex-back once and for all. Even if some time has passed it's still possible to make great things happen...hey, you will never know unless you try...right?

Go here now and watch the videos...http://winningmyex-back.com it will cost you nothing to watch these helpful videos; make up with your ex and get your ex back into your arms.

How long do rebounds last? What if you could speed things up and get your lover back. Read closely I want to caution you that the simple little things that you will learn is not for those who are simply seeking revenge only to get the person back just to dump them or to hurt them. I sincerely hope you are a decent individual and will use what you learn in an honest and kind way----> http://winningmyex-back.com


Ping-o-matic

Monday, September 29, 2014

Does He Have A Case Of Commitment Phobia?

You are dating this guy and you two have been going strong for a year now and still there is no commitment on his part. You have expressed to him that you would like to be in a committed relationship with him but every time you bring up the subject he makes excuses or simply becomes non-responsive. This is very upsetting to you and you don't know what's the issue with him or what to do about it. Why is he avoiding commitment? Does he have a case of commitment phobia? What is he afraid of? Here are some reasons your guy may be uneasy about being in a committed relationship.

Are you certain he's into you? I know this might sound a bit harsh but have you at least considered the fact that he might not be into you enough to be in a committed relationship with you. I would think that after a year he should be into you but not necessarily. Men can be hard to figure out; just when you think you know him, he can go in a totally opposite direction.

Are you the only one he seeing? I certainly hope you are, but it is possible that he has someone else on his mind and perhaps he is not certain about who he wants to commit too. There is also the possibility that he is not over his ex; he may not want to dive into committed relationship while holding a torch for his ex.

He may feel that he giving up his freedom. He may be under the impression that if he commits to you he will not be able to do the things he enjoys. He may just want to spend some time alone and do guy stuff.  It's no secret to any man that women require a lot of time and attention. Is this one of the reasons or does he have a case of commitment phobia?

Don't bug the heck out of him about it. Are you pressuring the poor man?  Now is not the time to constantly nag him about committing. The only thing you will accomplish by doing this is chasing his off. Let him come to the realization that you are the best thing in this whole world for him. If you know how to go about it you can "help him" come to that realization a lot quicker.

Did his heart get crushed in a past relationship? How much to you know about his relationship history? Did he get dumped in a past relationship and now he's swearing off getting serious again. If so this can certainly cause him to be very cautious when it comes to commitment. After all no one wants to get hurt over and over again.

Do you respect him and allow him to lead? It's very important for you to respect and love him for the person he is. Men...good men want to be protectors and providers; they in turn want a woman who will allow them to take on that role without being bossy, demanding and self-centered. This does not mean you should be a door mat (never) but it certainly does not mean that you should start wearing the pants around the house either. There should be a fine respectful balance in the relationship.

Is he ready? He simply might not believe he's ready to be in a committed relationship but with the right "know how" on your part he will be changing his mind in no time.

In Conclusion:
It may be difficult to be patient and understanding especially when men are not always easy to read but the thing to remember is don't act or say things concerning commitment or marriage in desperation. You have no idea how many times I've heard or read about women who are so upset with their current situation because their guy just won't open up. Are there some magic words or some special secret that will cause him to be more receptive to committing to you; after all you cannot wait forever. My suggestion is dig a little deeper for the answers...fortunately for you, you don't have to go far to find the answers you need to turn things around between you and your man. In fact you don't even need to get off your comfortable chair. The answers are here; how to make him connect with you and commit to you and only you.
 

Imagine how it would FEEL to Finally Have the Trust, Comfort and CERTAINTY from KNOWING that You Have a Partner who is Genuinely and Deeply COMMITTED to You and Your Relationship...

...Introducing "Connect And Commit - Taking Things to the Next Level of Commitment." Soon YOU'LL Be Enjoying the Love, Affection and Long Lasting Relationship that YOU Deserve!





Sunday, May 26, 2013

Liar Liar Panties On Fire

Liar Liar Panties on Fire!  She wasn't who she said she was she lied. Have you ever met someone that you thought was the real deal...you said to yourself this is "the one" later to find out "the one" turned out to be "the nightmare".  Sure it happens to the best of us, it happens to the most cautious individuals. How can you tell when you have crossed paths with a liar? You certainly cannot tell by looking at them or talking with them unless of course you are highly trained and skilled in detecting liars. The liar words ring true to us or is it simply because we want to believe what they are telling us.

I would say that all of us have been lied too or deceived by someone. How did it feel? We should not be too quick to judge the liar or deceitful one because have you not lied to someone in your lifetime? Sure you have. Are you proud of it? I'm not but I did it and changes are I will lie to someone again.

So what's the point of this blog anyway. It's my blog and there need not be a point...lol; however, I will list 5 common sense items regarding liars and deceitful people (as it pertains to intimate relationships).  Keep these things in mind;

1.   No one is above lying...no one; not your Priest, the Sunday School Teacher, the President of the United States. No one. 

2.   Ask questions first and build trust in time.  Many times we jump into a relationship wearing rose-colored glasses and start believing every spoken word and promise made.  Don't set yourself up by believing what could be lies.

3.   Actions will always speak louder than words.  You should care more about what a person does, how they treat you and not so much about what they say. Words are empty without actions, they may sound pleasing to the ear but prove to be hard on the heart later when untruth are manifested.

4.   When you first start dating someone wait it out before jumping in with you heart. A person true worth and character will be revealed in time. This one point will save you tons of grief later.

5.   If the situation does not feel right or go smoothly then perhaps this individual is not "the one".  I believe relationships should not be a constant tug of war. If you suspect foul play or that you partner is not being truthful do not dismiss that feeling; get to the bottom of the matter.

Well there you have it 5 of my best ways to not get "caught up" with a lying deceitful individual. Feel free to add your own points to the list.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Relationships - Know When To Hold em, Know When To Fold em



In Kenny Rogers song " The Gambler" the words  "you gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run" this verse applies nicely to relationships; although the song references a poker game. There comes a time in a relationship when you have to know when its time to "fold em" and walk away from the union.


You maybe facing the tough reality right now of knowing in your heart that you need to let your relationship go. It is my hope that this article will encourage you to do what you know must be done and to not prolong the matter. As hard as walking away is there maybe no options left. You have given the individual countless opportunities to help repair the broken relationship or perhaps the relationship is beyond repair. You don't want to hear anymore lies and broken promises.  All you want is peace of mind and one day to be truly happy; if happiness cannot be found in your current situation; it is indeed time to "fold em" and walk away. Can you relate to this?

Not everyone will agree with me, however, I am of the opinion, even though relationships require work I  believe that the work is not suppose to be particularly burdensome or troublesome. In order for a relationship to work, both parties must be committed to making it work. Relationships are like pieces of a puzzle, there is some effort in getting all the pieces to align and fit in place but once it's altogether a beautiful picture emerging. Having and raising a child is also hard work; however, the joy far outweigh the time and effort invested in the care of that child. Despite the diapers changes and the late night and early morning feedings you willingly accept your responsibility as a parent because this child brings you joy. Yes, your relationship will require work and in return should bring you much happiness and joy. Is your relationship joyous or a hardship?

Is Your Current Relationship Bringing You Joy?


Women try much to hard to right a situation that will never be right. We try much to hard to hold on to someone that was never truly with us in the first place. We talk ourselves into believing by way of a miracle that we can make a difference, we foolishly believe if we love hard enough, long enough and did enough we would be able to warm the heart of the person we wanted most; we live under the false illusion that our love would be returned and we would then live happily ever after....unfortunately real life is not like the stories in those fairy tale books we read as a child. Some hearts are simply not open and receptive to love. Some individuals will always be disloyal, lie, never fully commit and others are simply toxic individuals that should be avoided at all cost. Don't waste your time on any of them for you will end up disappointed, hurt and asking why?  The answer is an simple as this; that person is not someone that was ever meant to stay in your life; not a part of your destiny. I wholeheartedly believe this. If you did your part and was a person who could be loved,  never believe that the problem or issue lie with you. It's time to "fold em"

You must let go of what is not good to allow room for what is good to enter your life. Never let a bad relationship rob you of future joy and happiness. Sure you may carry scars of yesterday but scars are a sign of healing. They serve to remind us of what we have gone through and where not to go again - figuratively speaking, "heart scars" keeps us safe from making the same mistakes. So be encouraged and move forward with your life...wonderful people, places and things are in store for you.

LEAVING YOUR CURRENT SITUATION BEHIND MUST BE DONE - NO ONE SAID IT WOULD BE EASY



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 Freelance writer---> Rainne Rae

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Same Sex-Marriage - Is It A Problem Or Are You The Problem?

What are your views on same-sex marriage? Below is an excerpt from a post on The New York Times;

"President Obama declared for the first time on May 9, 2012 that he supports same-sex marriage, putting the moral power of his presidency behind a social issue that continues to divide the country.



“At a certain point,” Mr. Obama said in an interview in the Cabinet Room at the White House with ABC’s Robin Roberts, “I’ve just concluded that for me personally, it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married. He added that “I’ve always been adamant that gay and lesbian Americans should be treated fairly and equally.”Mr. Obama’s change of heart puts him at even sharper odds with his presumptive Republican rival, Mitt Romney, who opposes same-sex marriage and favors an amendment to the United States Constitution to forbid it

Regardless of our individual view point on same sex marriage the topic is not going to disappear until real equality exist for all, that includes the LGBT community. The talk of same-sex marriage can provoke some very strong opinions and feelings among individuals.

Same Sex Marriage   


Those that are very opposed to same-sex couples and gay marriages never once stopped and considered the fact that human beings are involved in these relationships; human beings that want the same rights and privileges as heterosexuals. I don't know why that is such a difficult concept to understand. Perhaps because those in opposition are closed-minded and hell bent on their own personal agendas. If only closed-minds came with closed-mouths. Gay and lesbians feel the same emotions as heterosexuals, I hope this doesn't come as a surprise to anyone. When someone we love betrays us, it hurts, when they cheat and lie, it hurts. When a loved one is loss, the pain is real and intense, isn't this the same for all humans or am I way off-base?

People love speaking of how morally wrong they believe homosexuality is; however, do these same individuals know that sex before marriage is morally wrong, having children out of wedlock is morally wrong, stealing, robbing, lying, coveting another individual's wife or husband is morally wrong and the list goes on and on...are you guilty of any of these things; if truth be told, the answer is likely 'YES!" The judging of another individual does not rest on the shoulders of any one of us. I was raised to believe that there is only one Supreme Judge that will deal with the sins of mankind and only alone that has the ultimate right to judge;  "Almighty God" that's my belief, what's yours?  The point I am making is if people are so dead set on speaking out against sins - they should start with themselves and within their own households before casting stones at others. Otherwise, you not only a sinner, but a hypocrite as well.

As Issue of Equality


I found the above video to be extremely sad and disturbing; to deny someone the opportunity for closure is downright heartless in my opinion. This couple spent nearly 6 years together. The fact that they are men is not what stood out most in my mind but instead that two human beings loved each other that deeply and the second thing that stood out was the hatred, coldness and insensitive of the relatives of the deceased (Tom). As I watched the video I saw real pain and anguish in Shane's face I heard the pain in his voice as he tearfully spoke of his loss and I could not help but wonder and imagine how I would be able to cope if I found myself in his shoes. I cannot imagine not being able to attend the funeral of someone I loved or to have no voice in what happens to my partner; to be counted as nothing, as unimportant, invisible. Can you imagine how that would feel...can you? A person should be respected for being human, no person feelings should be trampled upon simply because of who they love. The goal should be for all to live peaceful, prosperous and happy lives and to attend to ones' own business and not violate the rights of others. We all want equality, no one wants to be treated unfairly.  EQUALITY is the only issue I see.  Do you see something different?


 SHANE I HEAR YOU